This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
