We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
