she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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