census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
