there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my shit smells like andre
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
