We won't sleep together?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
