I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
