The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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