Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
