shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
