I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
