Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
3pm strippers are depressing
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
