Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
