I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
