Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
