Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
