Umm I'm too high to move.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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