He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
