Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
