Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
