You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
