I just saw a hot homeless man
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
