I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
