WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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