you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
