And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
