at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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