i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
