You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
