i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
