Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
