You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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