why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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