You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
