Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think i got beer on your cat.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
