we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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