Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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