went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
