I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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