I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just pee around me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
