it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
