Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
