Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the day after is always just damage control
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
