I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We don't watch enough power rangers
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
