I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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