Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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