all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
There's even glitter on my cock...
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