If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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