I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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