And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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