I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
