I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
